Know What You Want From Your Next Date.

Knowing what you want from your next date is really very easy.This article suggests that you take time and list the things you really want.Not the things you think might impress you peers but the things YOU desire from your next date.Things like :her interests: football, hockey tennis,Her character: is she positive,cheerful, laughs easily, more important :can she laugh at herself?Her values:What is important to her? family ,children,security,adventure.This is where your next date should begin:Do introspection and find out what YOU want.Most important,be truthful.

What I Wish I’d Known About Dating

 January 16, 2012 By Jake DiMare
 http://goodmenproject.com/men-and-dating/what-i-wish-id-known-about-dating/

What I would tell my younger self about dating, given the chance:
Jake, Jake, Jake…Where should I begin? First of all, relax. You are an okay guy and, believe it or not, some women are attracted to you. You are smart enough, funny enough and handsome enough. Stop being so scared and try being honest with women.
You know those women you keep ending up in relationships with after they give it up? You know the ones I am talking about. It doesn’t have to be that way. You don’t need to trade the hollow, empty promise of a long term relationship with women to manipulate them into giving it up. I’m serious. Cut that out…lying is not ‘good’.
Try to understand, love isn’t something you feel after sex. Love is something you do. It’s something you give to someone else who is worthy of such high affection. Romance should be a manifestation of love, not a mechanism to get in some girl’s pants.
We are 36 years old now and we’re getting married this year so I’m not going to talk a lot about dating for the express purpose of getting laid. You know we’ve done our fair share. Again, all I will say on the topic is be honest and treat women with more respect. There is nothing wrong with being single and chasing tail, so long as you can follow the aforementioned rules.

♦◊♦

Instead, I’m going to share what I have learned about the other kind of dating. The kind you do while in search of a real companion because that’s where we are in life now. As far as I am concerned the search for a healthy, loving relationship with a person you want to spend a lifetime with is more interesting anyways. It’s a hell of a lot more challenging.
Like dating to get laid, dating to find the love of your life also requires honesty and respect. However, it starts with caring for yourself with these principles. The first step to building a healthy long term relationship is to know who you are and what you want. I know you don’t have any of that figured out yet so I am going to help you figure it out. Go get a notebook and settle down. This is might take a while.
This purpose of this exercise is to get honest with yourself about what you want. For once in your life, think about who you really want to be with up front, instead of thinking about how to get away from the one you ended up with. You are worthy.
Write a few paragraphs defining the ideal relationship. Don’t leave anything out. What are the characteristics of your true companion? Someone who challenges you to be the very best version of yourself? Is she ambitious or lazy? Is she honest? Does she want a career or does she want a family? Is she religious? Does she want children? Leave no stone unturned and remember it doesn’t matter what you right down as long as it is an honest reflection of what you want.

◊♦◊

The last piece of the puzzle is simple but contrary to your instincts: Stop with the ‘casting couch’ approach. You’re not going to be available for the right girl to come into your life if you are in a perpetual state of trying girls on for size with sex first and conversation later.
Instead, start taking things slow. Get to know women one step at a time. There’s no set number of dates or anything here…Just try and get to know a women before you jump in the sack with her. You know what you want now and taking a more measured approach will allow you to weed out the ones who are completely wrong for you before feelings get involved.
Oh yeah, there’s one more important thing about being ‘honest with yourself’ to consider. I’m not going to bore you with the truth that you are not going to change someone else with love. I know you are not ready to believe me yet. Instead, the question you should ask yourself is this: Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone you need to change in the first place?

Friends With Benefits : The Dating Relationship That Has A Different Set Of Rules

 You might be in the same situation:You are dating only one person But you don't call it a relationship!This is the classic example of one or both partners not willing to commit.The unfortunate thing that happens is that even with those intentions of not committing ,rules change.Spending so much time with one person must and will lead to a deeper understanding of the other person.This in turn may lead to different expectations than the ones previously agreed on.AND this is when the fun and games begin.Especially for the one wanting commitment.Read about Friends With Benefits the dating relationship that has a different set of rules:

The Dating Relationship That Has A Different Set Of Rules.

"Dating: The not-really-a-relationship relationship

 By Erin Davis.
DoOver.com
http://www.freep.com/article/20120115/FEATURES01/201150359/The-not-really-a-relationship-relationship


A very close acquaintance of mine recently confided that he was participating in a "faux relationship."
If, like me, you'd like some clarification: He doesn't want to be in a relationship, his partner doesn't want to be in a relationship, yet both are in what most people would consider a relationship.
The two are dating exclusively, go on vacations together and attend important occasions with one another. Still, both cling to the notion that they are not, and do not want to be, in a relationship.
Welcome to the non-relationship relationship -- the faux relationship. Can a relationship that begins with a faux foundation blossom into something genuine? Or, like many a string of faux pearls, will it remain pretty to look at, but artificial to the core?
Does it really matter what we call a relationship (monogamous, friends with benefits, open relationships, etc.)? Perhaps it's more important "to understand that relationships are what the two people in them make them to be," says relationship expert Brenda Della Casa, author of "Cinderella Was a Liar" (McGraw-Hill, $21.95).
"It can be hard for more traditional types to accept that two people can be in a relationship that has a different set of rules, but if it works for the two people in it, that's what is most important," she says. Difficulty arises in the faux relationship just as with any other relationship, when the rules change.
Still, Della Casa explains that, "as long as they are open, honest and respectful of one another and themselves, these situations can work fine -- for a short period of time."
Honesty may be the best policy when it comes to relationships, but what happens when the policy is modified?
"Feelings change" moment to moment, says Beverly Hills celebrity author and psychotherapist Dr. Fran Walfish. "A faux relationship can begin on clear and mutually acceptable terms but, as time progresses, one partner may find his or her feelings deepening or vice versa."
Another fissure in the faux relationship formula occurs when an individual (knowingly or unknowingly) masks his or her true desire for a real relationship. Basically, an individual conveys to his partner that he doesn't want to be in a relationship, but inwardly truly does. Perhaps he has been hurt before, and therefore, believes that a faux relationship will protect him from harm.
This sort of behavior can become problematic if the individual's actions are counterintuitive to his words; he becomes jealous if his partner dates others, he wants to cohabitate with his partner or demands her full time and attention.
Or, "if someone says 'I don't want to be in a committed relationship' to someone else," Della Casa says. "What they really may be saying is, 'I want to keep you as an option, but I don't want to make any efforts and if someone better comes along or I get bored, I want an easy out.' "
"I would say under these circumstances," Walfish says, "the individual should seek the help of a professional to better understand the conflict in which he is functioning."
For those like my friend, already in the midst of a non-relationship relationship, what might indicate that the faux relationship is flailing -- or failing? According to Walfish, one partner might begin to desire increased quantity and quality of contact and closeness, more so than the other partner. If there is a breakdown in communication and the needs of one or both partners are being ignored or dismissed, this may indicate that the relationship is heading south.
"These disappointments need to be talked about," Walfish says. "Usually in a faux relationship the partner whose commitment is minimal, or faux, pulls back. The other is left with a deep lonely feeling."

Della Casa brings up a valid point: "Placing a blanket statement over everyone in these relationships and claiming they are insecure, in denial or defected isn't fair."
She elaborates that all of us have our own issues, regardless of our preferred relationship model.
"That said, it's more likely that someone with these kinds of issues would opt for a relationship that was easier and offered benefits without any of the work," Della Casa says. "It's possible for deeper relationships to develop out of these kinds of situations, although perhaps unlikely given the beginning of the relationship doesn't quite mesh with the organic unfolding of a traditional relationship."
Regardless of the title or syntax you attach to your relationship, Walfish provides the reminder that "the lasting key in any real relationships is mutual commitment to working out conflicts and differences by hanging in there with good communication skills.
"This means tolerating hearing uncomfortable feelings from our partners without attacking, collapsing, or rushing to judgment or fast repair," and, Walfish adds, "talking is the glue that holds relationships together."

Although it may seem like the recipe for a disaster, It seems that honest communication between partners of this dating relationship can avert anger and feelings of rejection .It is true what they say: Honesty IS the best policy !

Online Dating Key To A Marriage.

Seeing that one in five relationships start online, it might not be a bad idea to follow this popular  trend if you want to stop being single!There are so many avenues to explore ,one of them : mobile apps for dating.I found this article that explains how mobile apps make the whole dating scene so much easier.If 542 people a day get married after meeting on e-Harmony ,don't you want to be part of that statistic?!


                                                             Online Dating Key To A Marriage.

"Online Dating Made Easy with Mobile App

 http://fox4kc.com/2012/01/06/online-dating-made-easy-with-mobile-app/

ST. LOUIS — No matter what your thoughts are about online dating, more and more marriages are starting out with an online connection. FOX 4′s Rich Demuro shows how the matchmaking app makes meeting people easy.
About one in five relationships are now starting out online, and chances are you even know a couple who met through a dating site. There used to be a certain stigma about meeting someone online. But the numbers don’t lie.
“Over 20 percent of the people have met their spouses in some way online,” eHarmony Senior Research Scientist Gian Gonzaga said.
That means New Years might be the perfect time to head online and look for love.
“Five-hundred and forty-two people a day on average get married after meeting on eHarmony, which is pretty extraordinary,” Gonzaga said. “We actually match you up with people who our system determines that you’re compatible with. You have a better chance of making a good long-term relationship.”
The company recently launched a new iPad app. It makes matchmaking relaxing and kind of fun.The app allows you to arrange your matches according to new people and gives you a Polaroid, along with some basic details.And since everyone on the site takes a personality test, you even learn more about yourself. “We call that ‘The Book of You.’ And this is your personality broken down into the big five elements of agreeableness, openness, emotional stability, conscientiousness and extroversion,” said eHarmony Senior Director of Product, Arvind Mishra.
No matter what you think about how others are meeting their mates, love is in the air and online.


“I think it’s an experience and you want that experience to be warm and encouraging, real and authentic. And lastly, you want it to be premium, right? And I think this encapsulates that,” Gonzaga said.
Whoever said love doesn’t come cheap was right. Memberships at a big dating site can run you up to $60 a month. If you’re looking for love and want to learn more, click here."

As you can see the new trend of online dating Can provide you with a life partner.Why not try it and see for yourself!

Finding The Love Of Your Life After 50.

Finding The Love Of Your Life After 50.

 Finding the  love of your life after 50 is all about coming clean and telling all your friends that you are looking for the love of your life online.The traditional outlook of waiting for men to make the first move is also not important anymore ."Get out there and make things happen" is the motto of the "baby boomers "  who are looking for love.If you are one of the people over 50 who made a new years resolution of finding love in 2012 you are not alone.This article from the Huffington Post is very well researched and shows that getting back into the dating scene after 50 is more common than we thought!To be exact 60% of respondents over 50 said that finding love is their top priority for 2012.



January 3, 2012

Seeking Love Is Top Resolution For Post 50s: Study

Laura Rowley
  Posted: 12/19/11 03:44 PM ET


For nearly 60% of single people over 50, “finding love” is the top New Year’s resolution, and more than half rank it as the number one priority in 2012, according to a survey of members of OurTime.com, the online dating site for singles over 50.
At 56% of respondents, "Find a Companion" ranked higher than exercising more (34%), reducing stress (29%), saving money/spending less (28%), dieting (20%) and quitting smoking (12%). This is not entirely surprising, since the respondents were members of an online dating site. (We can presume that a query of participants in Weight Watchers or Debtors Anonymous would yield quite different results.)
Still, the survey suggests that Baby Boomers are romantics at heart, as the desire for companionship also outweighed dating more (33%) and having more sex (29%). "There is a recognition that relationships are a huge source of contentment and fulfillment," says psychiatrist Dr. Gail Saltz, the relationship expert for OurTime.com. "You can have a lot of money and perfect health and no relationships and be quite unhappy."
The good news for singles seeking love: The numbers are on their side. "If you look at divorce rates for the decades of the 1970s and 80s, they were quite high –- so there are a lot of single people in this age group, which means a bigger pool for whoever is out there looking," Saltz says. "It’s a unique opportunity because this age group is now using the internet in a way they didn’t before."
Just don't be too picky when you first dive into the pool, she suggests. "We have a tendency with dating websites to say, 'I want X,Y and Z and you don’t have Z' -- and that can really shrink your field quickly. Try dates with lots of different people and don’t say no at the get-go." For a full list of Dr. Saltz's online dating tips, check out our slideshow.

 Being shy about looking for love will get you nowhere. Be assertive. Frequent social settings where singles hang out, join an online dating site and tell your friends you are on the market to be set up. "(Baby Boomers) have traditional been a generation where the woman would prefer to be asked out, but you can't necessarily afford to sit and wait for the ask," says Dr. Saltz.

I Am The Reason I Don't Have A Date.

I Am The Reason I Don't Have A Date

Owning up to your own excuses for not finding a date is the beginning of the journey of FINDING a date!This is the point that the writer of this article makes.She lists 12 excuses for not finding a date and as it happens some sound really familiar.Like: it's my nose ,or any other body part for that matter!
She then goes on to suggest some thing you could do to get the date that you want and deserve.Sound advice for the never ending excuse that you have hid behind in the past. Read it and tell me what your plan for action is going to be!

  I Am The Reason I Don't Have A Date.

"Dating Advice: The Real Reason You're Single

Marnie Nir

Coach, The Handel Group

If you are still single and wish you were done with the BS of dating, madly in love already or mercy killed, I've got good news and bad news for you. Okay, truth is it's just bad news, but the realizing of it might just wake you up, in a good way.

What if all the reasons you've been blaming for your singlehood don't even remotely resemble the truth?
"What reasons?" the more conveniently doe-eyed of you might wonder.

Oh, I don't know, how 'bout some o' these?

1. All the good ones are taken. And, you do mean ALL. Done. Sold-out. Standing room only, if you're lucky. And, well, you're not lucky, so there.
2. If, however, somehow, perchance, they are not ALL taken, then they are either
a) gay
or
b) don't know that they are gay.
3. a) Your parents sucked as role models, so, inevitably you are screwed and it's your parents' ultimate fault and not yours. Heck, you are doing your best, given what you got.
b) Your parents' marriage was great and you are still single because of them, as well. You couldn't possibly try to emulate them. You'd only fail, so why bother?
4. Online dating is in fact a sanctuary for satan. You are in hell. You know this for a fact: eHarmony = hell on earth.
5. All the men and women online (other than you) are ____-er than they said they were (i.e. fatter, older, balder, shorter, drunker, republicaner/liberaler, marrieder, etcetera).
6. When you finally lose the last ten pounds, he leaves his wife, you get a better job, a different mother, a different life coach and or therapist THEN you will be done with all the BS.
7. Your "perfect" man or woman must actually live in another city. And, not only do you never plan on moving, but the city you currently and will always live in has been dredged dry (see #1).
8. You haven't found the right "rulebook" yet.
9. It takes luck and timing, and you've got neither.
10. You missed the (non-existent) boat.
11. The man or woman you didn't really like way back when actually WAS THE ONE. S/he was greater than your memory serves (and your friends' memories).
12. It's your nose. That's it. It has always been a problem. Sooo, you dated many in your past, even some great looking men/women. Nonetheless, your nose has always been the issue. Ah ha.
13. Sadly, if #12 weren't enough, it's the cellulite on your butt, or the size of your penis that is the real culprit and not the pint of Chubby Hubby you ate Saturday night to cheer you up about your nose.

I decided to stop at thirteen. Obviously, I could go on and, quite honestly, so could you. And you have (ouch). BUT, if indeed the endless plethora of reasons you like to spew about why you are single still has actually nothing to do with it, then what/who is the actual culprit?

Uh. Maybe it's YOU.

YOU are actually way more married to your favorite crappy theories of why you CANNOT have love than you are interested in seeing yourself as the evidence-collecting chicken you are when it comes to love.

Once you can see that you are your own problem, then there are actual bold moves you can start making that would be more productive than proving your theories correct. Here are examples of what you can do:

1. See your own theories for what they are: BS. It's not dating that is filled with BS, it's YOU pretending to try to find love when really you're in a different sport altogether.
2. Invent new theories on love and dating and prove THEM. I dare you. Thinking dating IS hard is brilliant and convenient, because then you don't have to even bother going out at all. Heck, you can stay home AND watch Dexter AND blame ALL men. That's double dipping, no? You get to eat ice cream, feel sorry for yourself, angry at them AND not date. You are hosting your own pity party, catering it and pretending you're not!
3. Butcher your chicken. Make a certain number of bold moves daily. Prove the theory "I am brave" instead of "See? I/they suck."
4. Write your own dating laws, with the first being: Tell the truth.
5. Date in your own league, and if that is an issue, get working on moving yourself into a better league.
6. Get the lies out of your dating profiles. Stop pretending you are low maintenance, if you aren't. Stop asking for men who are 28-35 years old when you are 43 and looking for marriage. Stop making food so freaking important, unless you like fat men/women. Get those photos that make you look a bit whorish out of your dating profile. Otherwise, stop wondering why the men who come calling are looking for sex.
7. Clean up your home. If you really believe s/he is coming, then have your place show it. Search for signs for how you know s/he IS coming, not of how you know s/he is not. Nice try, but no more using your single status to get you off the hook for cleaning! (or shaving).
8. Stop using the word "guy" or -- god help you -- "chick." Aren't you ready for a man or woman YET?!! Then inform your mouth!
9. Make a consequence for each time you have a negative thought about you and love. I have my clients literally throw a dollar to the street every time they do. Start believing that your negative thoughts are your personal pollution and if you want he or she to come, cut back on the emissions. Yes, carry a wad of singles in the beginning, but ultimately, you will get better at controlling what your head says to you. You can vote on your thoughts.
10. If the person you like rejects you, they weren't the ONE. Trust the "no." It's crazy-making to think someone who says "no" to you, is your "yes." Let them go, now.

So, yes, maybe it IS you. BUT, maybe that's more bold news than it is bad news.
And isn't that some good news?!
Marnie Nir
P.S.- Join Marnie as she leads the 4-week telecourse "Dating 101." Now that you know it's you, do something about it; let us help you redesign your dating life."

Really practical advice in this article. Now go and do it! Stop making excuses and find the love of your life.

How To Attract Women With Your Online Ad

How To Attract Women With Your Online Ad

Attract women with your online ad.

 Writing an online ad to attract women might be the scariest thing you have ever done.The one moment you feel like Mr Right and the next you feel like a hare caught in a spotlight! All dating websites offer you the chance to meet new people and possibly the love of your life.The trick is to write an online ad that truly portrays you without sounding boring or worse " too good to be true."I found this article with 17 tips on writing the perfect online ad.

Online Dating: Personals Ad writing made easy with Seventeen Tips

Date: 20 December 2011

Posted By : by Ebridex

editorial@agoracosmopolitan.com.

Online dating websites offer the easier and quicker way for single guys to meet women. The use of online personal ads to get the audience you desire is quite different that picking up a girl in the real life situations. When you meet her at a bar, party or disco it might be difficult for you to approach her, you may feel embarrassed, but with online dating, it is easier and less stressful.

Therefore, you have made up your mind to put a personal ad, but you are getting none or few responses to your request and no girl is approaching you. Remember that you have to attract women with your online ad. These days very sophisticated personal ads are appearing in top quality dating sites.

In today’s world of online dating personal ads, have to be witty, informative, and hopefully effective. If you want to get the best personal ad, you must to present the right image, get people to interact you by being friendly and chatting every day. You should try in every single way possible to prove and show that you are as you have said, including your own personality and characteristics. Writing a personal ad is like writing a love letter, a poem dedicated to your future partner.

For to increase your success in online dating you have to make your personal ad to be the best. Here are some tips that might help you.

1. First and the most important is that you must complete your personal profile fully, to be informative, complete, to make the woman interested;

2. Run spell-check – a profile full of mistakes shows that you are a sloppy, careless type;

3. Add a photograph; ensure that the photo is bright, clear and recent; a perfect picture with the right clothing and a smiled face will have a big effect recording to the visitors of your personal ad; many people don’t add a profile photo because they think that they aren’t photogenic; but this is a wrong idea because the profiles that haven’t a photo is much less viewed like the other;

4. Be yourself, be sincere and say what you like and looking for; be honest, if you are looking just for a casual date because you already have a wife, say it, don’t imply that you are looking for marriage just to get more details, because this is a waste of time for everyone;

5. Avoid major disclosures – you don’t have to tell everything about yourself in the first paragraph, this will not be interesting anymore;

6. Splatter your profile with humor, drama, funky metaphors, they will draw instant attention and interested;

7. Don’t be aggressive or rude in your personal ad, because this will show that you are not friendly and open for new friends;

8. Communicate – it is important to communicate if you want to make friends and to know better the possible partners;

9. Keep your profile positive and update, so don’t use words like “desperate” , hurry to meet someone;

10. Don’t use swear words because are generally offensive and turn people off;

11.List all the things you like can be a handful; choose one good example and talk about why you like it;

12. Don’t make list of your accomplishments; avoid using personals adjectives like: I’m a spontaneous, creative, honest person;

13. You can include the things that make up your good points like the fact that you like kids, or you are told that you are funny;

14. Ask questions to them to answer via email;

15. also try to response at people messages in a reasonable amount of time, not after a month;

16. be positive , show that you love life and know how to live it;

17. Be patient; it is true that it takes a time until you meet somebody and get to know her better, but it works;

Also in your personal ad, you can include some action phrases, which will express your personality and characteristics. Some of this action phrases are:

- Long term relationship – shows the fact that you have the sense of commitment, you are ready for a long relationship;

- Great personality – express the fact that you have a truly magnificent personality and it’s worth meeting you;

- No baggage – means that you are completely free of attachments such as a spouse or child;

- Active and adventurous – means that you are in a really good shape, physically fit;

- Ask me anything – shows that you are honest, adventurous and open to sharing details about yourself;

Now that you know how to make your personal ad to be the best, I wish you good luck in finding the perfect partner.


Advertise your dating service.  E-mail: editorial@agoracosmopolitan.com."

 I hope you enjoyed the sound advice offered.Especially about not revealing all but keeping some surprises.
To find the perfect partner you will want to be the perfect partner.If you want someone adventurous do more adventurous things Keep developing new interests by reading as widely as possible and do new things.